The scenario is this. It's your wedding day. You have 45 minutes left before the taxis arrive to whisk your guests away, and you want to finish in style. You have the dancefloor, the DJ, the lights and a one point twenty one Jigger-watt sound system, cranked to 11, hungry and waiting to be fed.
You need 10 records, all killer, no filler. There are thousands of worthy contenders out there, but you want the best of the best. Guaranteed floor-fillers: feel-great anthems, and who cares if there's the odd overtone of ripe camembert. Just get these weird and wonderful people onto the floor, cares cast aside and throwing moves like nobody's watching.
So here is the run-down: arguably the best ten records for wedding DJs.
No 10:Summer of '69: Bryan Adams
No 9: Billie Jean: Michael Jackson
No 8: Dance The Night Away: The Mavericks
No 7: Hey Ya: Outkast
No 6: Don't Stop Me Now: Queen
No 5: Nine To Five: Dolly Parton
No 4: I don't feel like dancing: Scissor Sisters
No 3: Young Hearts Run Free: Candi Statton
No 2: Brown Eyed Girl: Van Morrison
But what comes next? What makes a song the greatest disco record of all time?
Humbly I suggest the following step-by-step guide…
HOW TO MAKE THE GREATEST DISCO RECORD OF ALL TIME: THE JIGBLOG GUIDE
Step 1: Hire the tightest disco rhythm section on the planet.
Step 2: Start it quickly. Just a snare drum leading into a killer horn hook intro.
Step 3: Load the subject material with light-hearted innuendo
Step 4: Write catchy, repetitive lyrical hooks over a 4-to-the-floor bassline
Step 5: Get your performers to wear outlandish costumes
Step 6: Invent a dance to go along with it.
The result? you've guessed it…
Are we all agreed?