15 tips for the worried bride (part 3)
The final five wedding tips for worried brides.
11. Prep your team.
Bridesmaids, best men, ushers : these people have been given a special honour, and they should be expected to work for it. They're there to enjoy but also to support you. The best man should be circulating with the guests, introducing people to each other, working the crowd, keeping people abreast of what is happening. He should be making sure people's needs are met, and that no-one is bored or cold or embarrassed. He should be prepared to make an impromptu announcement, and if he's not a public speaker, get him to write his announcements down, or arrange someone else to make them for him. Make sure he's got his mobile phone in his sporran, too. Bridesmaids will help you with your outfit and moral support, but do make sure that they're not under the illusion that they can go and sit in a corner with their friends and ignore people. The wedding party (that's the top table, usually) are the hosts of the event, and it will work best when the hosts engage with the guests. Appoint people with responsibilities that they are capable of handling, and make sure they are accorded a special honour for this during the toasts. A token gift will also help cement those important relationships, so don't scrimp on thankyous.
12. See the value of difficult guests.
Sometimes you have to invite people you don't really want to be there. The lecherous uncle,for example, or a heavy-drinking boyfriend of a friend. Some guests will be there to pass comment and air their own insecurities. Everyone is human, and some more human than others. Don't resent them. Use them as a reminder that marriage itself will have its awkward experiences. But equally, make provision with your support team of best man and bridesmaids. You don't get to enjoy an entourage every day, so make the most of them!
13. Take your watch off.
Most weddings don't run exactly to schedule. Try not to fit too much in, and also plan for things running over. Canapes for the guests while photos are taken is a good idea, or even a magician or a good string quartet. And if the speeches make the meal last an extra hour, this is where having an experienced wedding band comes in handy. Check the venue can move the evening buffet back a bit, and ensure that evening guests have somewhere comfortable to wait if they've arrived early. Some of our clients hire live background music for the evening guests (e.g. a jazz trio) to play in the retiring room (where the dinner guests join them while the function room is turned around).
14. Relish the Challenge
Children throw tantrums when things don't go their way. If you're mature, you embrace the challenge. Sometimes you have to wrestle with external sources of aggravation, and other times it's internal conflicts. If you identify your wedding day as a worthwhile challenge, rather than an elaborate party to dazzle people into thinking how great you are, then I think you are approaching it in the right spirit.
15. Lower your expectations.
What?! Settle for second best? NEVER! Well, that’s not really what I’m saying. What I mean is: remember that your wedding is not somehow going to magically make the rest of your life perfect. Don’t give it that kind of place in your thoughts. Obsession is when you try and ascribe more value to something than it is really worth. Widen your horizons: don’t let your wedding obsession become something which actually alienates you from people.
Those are some of my ideas. Feel free to add any suggestions that you think are useful by clicking on the "comments" link below.
